okay, so i can't remember if i said anything about feeling like my whole world is about waiting for something to happen...but guess what??? now it has!!! i have been accepted to the university into the education program!!! i'm so excited! i can't believe it...this is something i've been working towards since i graduated from highschool...so, for ten years now...and now i've been accepted, and i am going back to school...kinda seems anti climatic...
i've been feeling kind of lost this week...all i can think of is moving back to calgary (finally) and going back to school...and moving in with Jon (eek!)...as weird as this may sound, i've never been good with change, and now i'm changing almost every aspect of my life in one summer. i feel like i'm actually an adult (or supposed to be one) and i'm not quite sure what i'm supposed to be doing or feeling...
i am feeling frustrated, because i feel like i'm stuck at the moment...stuck in a house that is starting to drive me crazy, stuck in a job that i'm bored out of my mind in...and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but as close as it, it is still so far...
so, life is amazing and at the same time suffocating...i am a walking paradox...(i was going to say oxymoron, but i know where Joie would go with that one)...my brain is having a hard time processing my thoughts and feelings, and poor Jon is suffering, because i've been very quite and introverted and unfortunately i need more time to come to terms with what is going on in my head. i love the guy so much, and i'm so lucky to have him in my life...i can't wait to be able to see him every day...
okay, i need to stop wallowing...i think i may go lose myself in a book...feel like i'm someone else for a time, give my brain a rest.
goodnight to y'all out there in blogger land!
Lindsay
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
it's been a very looooonnnggg time...
okay, so i've been slacking in the blogging deptartment...oops...nobody's perfect...
i guess that i've been trying to deal with all my issues internally. i've always been a very private person...and to share my woes goes against the personality that i've been displaying for my whole life...but lately i've gone through some changes, i'm growing, and i've become very short tempered (for me...for anyone else i guess i would just appear normal)...
now that i sound like i'm about to throw myself off a bridge, lets look on the brighter side of things, shall we? life is actually pretty good right now! i've got a job in a time where a lot of people are losing them...not that i think this recession will last long, the price of gas is already going up...but it's a pretty cushy job. the worst that i can say about it is that i'm usually completely bored at work. so really, i'm getting paid pretty good money to sit on my behind all day...too bad the sitting is making the behind quite huge, but i'm trying to focus on the good here. because of the good money i've been able to pay off some bills...even the ones that have accumulated within this last year. i went to europe, and had an amazing time!!! sometimes it seems like it was all a dream! i saw so much in such a short time! i can't wait to go again!
also, and i can't overlook this, i've found an amazing guy who i love with all my heart! it's scary sometimes to think about how much i care for him! i've never before dated a guy where i could honestly say i pictured forever with him (not that i've dated many guys...)...but i truly feel that way now! i still get the "what if's" and the doubts...usually i'm hightailing it for the boarder by now...i think this has also been my longest relationship...and we are coming up on eleven months. but every day is worth it, every moment! he makes me smile, and understands me like no one ever has. i feel like i can be myself with him, and block out the rest of the world. i am definitely a lucky girl!!!
what else?...well, because of the aforementioned boy, i will be moving back to calgary this summer!!! and hopefully i will get into the Bachelor of Education program at the university (fingers crossed!). my life is kind of hanging in the balance at the moment...but really, when has it not been...i tend to fly by the seat of my pants at the best of times...
my life always seems to be about waiting for something to happen...i try and sit back and enjoy the moment, but i'm always looking towards the next event i have planned...
well, that's about all i have to say...that's positive...i still have so much that i'm trying to improve on myself...i've been trying to exercise more and eat better...and i type this as i chow down on chips and dip. i never said that i wasn't self destructive...
well, i think that i'm going to sign off...i've given you all a little look into my life...i might even write more in time...not sure how much time, but sometime...
hope you are all having a great beginning to your year!! here's wishing for sunshine!
Lindsay
i guess that i've been trying to deal with all my issues internally. i've always been a very private person...and to share my woes goes against the personality that i've been displaying for my whole life...but lately i've gone through some changes, i'm growing, and i've become very short tempered (for me...for anyone else i guess i would just appear normal)...
now that i sound like i'm about to throw myself off a bridge, lets look on the brighter side of things, shall we? life is actually pretty good right now! i've got a job in a time where a lot of people are losing them...not that i think this recession will last long, the price of gas is already going up...but it's a pretty cushy job. the worst that i can say about it is that i'm usually completely bored at work. so really, i'm getting paid pretty good money to sit on my behind all day...too bad the sitting is making the behind quite huge, but i'm trying to focus on the good here. because of the good money i've been able to pay off some bills...even the ones that have accumulated within this last year. i went to europe, and had an amazing time!!! sometimes it seems like it was all a dream! i saw so much in such a short time! i can't wait to go again!
also, and i can't overlook this, i've found an amazing guy who i love with all my heart! it's scary sometimes to think about how much i care for him! i've never before dated a guy where i could honestly say i pictured forever with him (not that i've dated many guys...)...but i truly feel that way now! i still get the "what if's" and the doubts...usually i'm hightailing it for the boarder by now...i think this has also been my longest relationship...and we are coming up on eleven months. but every day is worth it, every moment! he makes me smile, and understands me like no one ever has. i feel like i can be myself with him, and block out the rest of the world. i am definitely a lucky girl!!!
what else?...well, because of the aforementioned boy, i will be moving back to calgary this summer!!! and hopefully i will get into the Bachelor of Education program at the university (fingers crossed!). my life is kind of hanging in the balance at the moment...but really, when has it not been...i tend to fly by the seat of my pants at the best of times...
my life always seems to be about waiting for something to happen...i try and sit back and enjoy the moment, but i'm always looking towards the next event i have planned...
well, that's about all i have to say...that's positive...i still have so much that i'm trying to improve on myself...i've been trying to exercise more and eat better...and i type this as i chow down on chips and dip. i never said that i wasn't self destructive...
well, i think that i'm going to sign off...i've given you all a little look into my life...i might even write more in time...not sure how much time, but sometime...
hope you are all having a great beginning to your year!! here's wishing for sunshine!
Lindsay
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