Thursday, March 31, 2011
in class...shhhhhhhh...
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
new year...old me...
so, here i am, 2011, still in school, still feeling as if i'm being left behind by everyone around me...on the plus side, i have learned very well how to reflect, so that is what i will do today...
there are so many things in life that a person can get down about. weight, work, family, self perception, school, housework, homework, health, etc etc....and lately i have been letting a lot of it get to me. i can feel things piling up on me and i can't seem to get my head above water. i am allowing myself to succumb to that downward spiral, and i need to change my perspective. people always see me as that positive, happy-go-lucky person, and that is who i want to be! i don't like feeling like i can't accomplish living day to day, the enormous effort it takes to get out of bed in the morning. when you feel like this it is hard to face life.
so, here i am, trying to make changes. i need to change my views on food (for some days it is my best friend), increase my focus abilities, find a family doctor to try and answer some questions, focus on finishing this school year strong and have faith in myself as a teacher and a person that i will get a job, put more effort into keeping my home the way i want it, and just try to feel in my heart the smile that is on my face.
right now i'm watching the biggest loser, which usually motivates me, but i am also eating french fries at the same time, not so motivating...
i have been looking at photos from the past (while i'm supposed to be doing homework, i'm really not doing well on the focusing today...) and thinking about all the good times in my past, and all the good people i have met along the way. there is a sense of loss in my heart about the people who i haven't stayed in contact with. i tend to shut a door in my heart when i move on, and it seems like i leave people behind so easily, but i don't. it hurts so much to leave people behind.
i've also been thinking about friends i have lost along the way. the good times that were had and the stories and feelings that were shared. the shoulders that i have cried on in bad times, and the laughs i have shared in good...
so, lately i've been thinking that i have come to a point in my life where i speak my mind way too much. growing up i was always the silent child, the one who never complained and never had anything bad to say about anyone...and now i seem to be blabbing my mouth off to way to many people and thinking things about people that just isn't nice. that was never me...i want to go back to that positive person who saw the good in everyone. it's as if a dam burst in me and i've gone to the other extreme on this line of personality.
i'm not saying i want to go back to the innocence and stupidity of childhood. apparently i am still retaining the essence of innocence, and i can play stupid with the best of them, but that is not who i want to be. i am going to be 30 this year (eek) and i'm not a child any more. i am a woman. i want to be confident, smart, and sexy. i want to be stylish, charming, endearing, and professional.
i need a new wardrobe, to take more time for me. i wish i was the kind of girl who spent time on her hair and makeup every day, and got her nails done, and wore the right clothes. i have been a starving student for years, and my money has gone to books and gas and travel...not that those are bad things, but what about making myself feel beautiful on the outside. i have such a terrible view of myself, no sense of style, and no urge to dress nicely because i just feel fat in everything. how to you change so much about yourself, but still remain yourself on the outside.
one of the best things in my life is Jon. he gives me so much, knowing how to make me laugh when i'm sad and taking such good care of me! i love him so much, and i don't know what i would do without him. just the thought of it is like a punch to the stomach. i feel incompetent when it comes to our relationship though...he seems so confident about so many things, and i'm always second guessing myself.
this really doesn't seem like me trying to be a more positive person, but sometimes i have to work things out before i can find the answers.......
okay, i should probably get back to being a student...those books will not read themselves....
there are so many things in life that a person can get down about. weight, work, family, self perception, school, housework, homework, health, etc etc....and lately i have been letting a lot of it get to me. i can feel things piling up on me and i can't seem to get my head above water. i am allowing myself to succumb to that downward spiral, and i need to change my perspective. people always see me as that positive, happy-go-lucky person, and that is who i want to be! i don't like feeling like i can't accomplish living day to day, the enormous effort it takes to get out of bed in the morning. when you feel like this it is hard to face life.
so, here i am, trying to make changes. i need to change my views on food (for some days it is my best friend), increase my focus abilities, find a family doctor to try and answer some questions, focus on finishing this school year strong and have faith in myself as a teacher and a person that i will get a job, put more effort into keeping my home the way i want it, and just try to feel in my heart the smile that is on my face.
right now i'm watching the biggest loser, which usually motivates me, but i am also eating french fries at the same time, not so motivating...
i have been looking at photos from the past (while i'm supposed to be doing homework, i'm really not doing well on the focusing today...) and thinking about all the good times in my past, and all the good people i have met along the way. there is a sense of loss in my heart about the people who i haven't stayed in contact with. i tend to shut a door in my heart when i move on, and it seems like i leave people behind so easily, but i don't. it hurts so much to leave people behind.
i've also been thinking about friends i have lost along the way. the good times that were had and the stories and feelings that were shared. the shoulders that i have cried on in bad times, and the laughs i have shared in good...
so, lately i've been thinking that i have come to a point in my life where i speak my mind way too much. growing up i was always the silent child, the one who never complained and never had anything bad to say about anyone...and now i seem to be blabbing my mouth off to way to many people and thinking things about people that just isn't nice. that was never me...i want to go back to that positive person who saw the good in everyone. it's as if a dam burst in me and i've gone to the other extreme on this line of personality.
i'm not saying i want to go back to the innocence and stupidity of childhood. apparently i am still retaining the essence of innocence, and i can play stupid with the best of them, but that is not who i want to be. i am going to be 30 this year (eek) and i'm not a child any more. i am a woman. i want to be confident, smart, and sexy. i want to be stylish, charming, endearing, and professional.
i need a new wardrobe, to take more time for me. i wish i was the kind of girl who spent time on her hair and makeup every day, and got her nails done, and wore the right clothes. i have been a starving student for years, and my money has gone to books and gas and travel...not that those are bad things, but what about making myself feel beautiful on the outside. i have such a terrible view of myself, no sense of style, and no urge to dress nicely because i just feel fat in everything. how to you change so much about yourself, but still remain yourself on the outside.
one of the best things in my life is Jon. he gives me so much, knowing how to make me laugh when i'm sad and taking such good care of me! i love him so much, and i don't know what i would do without him. just the thought of it is like a punch to the stomach. i feel incompetent when it comes to our relationship though...he seems so confident about so many things, and i'm always second guessing myself.
this really doesn't seem like me trying to be a more positive person, but sometimes i have to work things out before i can find the answers.......
okay, i should probably get back to being a student...those books will not read themselves....
Sunday, July 25, 2010
.......
okay, jumped on here to write about me.......and i have gone blank...
i'm really excited about greece! 22 days!!! there is so much to see and so little time. it sucks that Jon won't be coming with me, but at the same time it's going to be nice not having to worry about someone else...i am going with my mom and sister, and i will have to worry about them, but i hope it's not too bad. i get to plan where we are going, so that will be good, i hope they both enjoy what i decide to go see.
i can never say what i want to say here...i can't believe i ever thought i could be a writer.......i know what i want to say, it just never comes out right.
i'll write more later, i just can't focus right now....gonna try to make cinnamon buns, could be interesting.....
i'm really excited about greece! 22 days!!! there is so much to see and so little time. it sucks that Jon won't be coming with me, but at the same time it's going to be nice not having to worry about someone else...i am going with my mom and sister, and i will have to worry about them, but i hope it's not too bad. i get to plan where we are going, so that will be good, i hope they both enjoy what i decide to go see.
i can never say what i want to say here...i can't believe i ever thought i could be a writer.......i know what i want to say, it just never comes out right.
i'll write more later, i just can't focus right now....gonna try to make cinnamon buns, could be interesting.....
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
skiing!!!
so, i went skiing on valentines day, and it was amazing!!! i started the day off at the top of the hill, totally scared to go down. i was scared of falling and scared of failing...it took me forever just to make it down the first slope. there was so much going through my head, and i just couldn't focus, and it didn't help that my baby sister was staying with me to keep me company, and not really having fun because i was going so slow. i couldn't concentrate on what i was doing because i could feel her watching me, and i didn't want her to see how badly i was doing. after going down the hill twice with her watching me, i decided to send her down with everyone else. it would make so much more sense for her to go with everyone else than to sit and watch me. she is so sweet, and didn't want to leave me. i am so lucky to have a little sister like her! so off she went with the others, and i was free to make mistakes, to take my time, and to not feel guilty that i was keeping anyone else from enjoying themselves...
so, i pulled up my socks and did the only thing that made sense to me...i followed a little girl who was being guided down the hill by her dad! it was brilliant! she was just a beginner (probably about 7 or 8 years old) and he was giving her very direct instructions as she went down the hill, so i just followed and took his advice! that little bit of teaching helped me so much! after that run, when i made it to the bottom without feeling like i lost control at all, it gave me so much confidence! it seemed like something clicked, like a lightbulb was turned on in my head, and that all the sudden i figured it out! on the next trip down the hill i decided to go for broke. what was the point in holding back! there have been too many times in my life that i haven't taken the chance, that i haven't just jumped! i needed to jump, to prove to myself that i could, so i took off down the hill. i took chances that allowed me to discover that i could do more than i allowed myself to do before!!
i will never forget the exhileration of flying down that hill. i felt so free, even though i was completely terrified at the same time! i kept thinking about how i should be standing, knees bent, hands forward, leaning forward in my boots, pressure to the uphill side of my skiis, snowplow, turn, go!!! then, all of the sudden, the tips of my skiis crossed and i flew over them head first! i'm surprised i didn't injure myself. i remember falling, rolling through the snow, and landing face up, looking at the sky. and i laughed! it was so amazing! just another step in knowing that i could let myself go, and know that i could fall, but that i would survive!
i went down a few more times, and by the last time my legs were so tired i knew i couldn't go again. i think that if i tried, my legs would give out on me and i wouldn't have made it safely down the hill. but i was so proud of myself, and where i had gotten to, that i didn't mind stopping early! i went down to the lodge at the bottom of the hill and had a hot chocolate while reading my book. i felt like i had accomplished so much! i am so proud of myself, and i can't wait to go back next weekend!!
okay, not sure what else to say...i still didn't get flowers for valentines day...not impressed but i don't know how to get him to just do it...i don't know why he fights it. i have bluntly said, "get me flowers" and he just can't do it. he is so good to me in every other way, but it is disappointing that he can't do this little thing for me. he got us matching team canada clothes, took me skiing, heats up my heat pack every night...i don't know why i think i need flowers. but it's just the one thing that he can't seem to make himself do. it seems like a little thing, something that he should be able to easily do! it's not like i'm asking for jewlery or a new wardrobe or anything huge...just some pretty little flowers to tell me he loves me. if anyone out there has any advice for me, let me know...
okay, i'm super tired cuz i haven't had a rest in over a week, so i'm going to go watch xena...season 5 here i come!!! maybe i'll even get on the treadmill for a bit so i can stretch out my sore muscles...there are muscles in my bum that are hurting that i didn't even know i had...
later people!
so, i pulled up my socks and did the only thing that made sense to me...i followed a little girl who was being guided down the hill by her dad! it was brilliant! she was just a beginner (probably about 7 or 8 years old) and he was giving her very direct instructions as she went down the hill, so i just followed and took his advice! that little bit of teaching helped me so much! after that run, when i made it to the bottom without feeling like i lost control at all, it gave me so much confidence! it seemed like something clicked, like a lightbulb was turned on in my head, and that all the sudden i figured it out! on the next trip down the hill i decided to go for broke. what was the point in holding back! there have been too many times in my life that i haven't taken the chance, that i haven't just jumped! i needed to jump, to prove to myself that i could, so i took off down the hill. i took chances that allowed me to discover that i could do more than i allowed myself to do before!!
i will never forget the exhileration of flying down that hill. i felt so free, even though i was completely terrified at the same time! i kept thinking about how i should be standing, knees bent, hands forward, leaning forward in my boots, pressure to the uphill side of my skiis, snowplow, turn, go!!! then, all of the sudden, the tips of my skiis crossed and i flew over them head first! i'm surprised i didn't injure myself. i remember falling, rolling through the snow, and landing face up, looking at the sky. and i laughed! it was so amazing! just another step in knowing that i could let myself go, and know that i could fall, but that i would survive!
i went down a few more times, and by the last time my legs were so tired i knew i couldn't go again. i think that if i tried, my legs would give out on me and i wouldn't have made it safely down the hill. but i was so proud of myself, and where i had gotten to, that i didn't mind stopping early! i went down to the lodge at the bottom of the hill and had a hot chocolate while reading my book. i felt like i had accomplished so much! i am so proud of myself, and i can't wait to go back next weekend!!
okay, not sure what else to say...i still didn't get flowers for valentines day...not impressed but i don't know how to get him to just do it...i don't know why he fights it. i have bluntly said, "get me flowers" and he just can't do it. he is so good to me in every other way, but it is disappointing that he can't do this little thing for me. he got us matching team canada clothes, took me skiing, heats up my heat pack every night...i don't know why i think i need flowers. but it's just the one thing that he can't seem to make himself do. it seems like a little thing, something that he should be able to easily do! it's not like i'm asking for jewlery or a new wardrobe or anything huge...just some pretty little flowers to tell me he loves me. if anyone out there has any advice for me, let me know...
okay, i'm super tired cuz i haven't had a rest in over a week, so i'm going to go watch xena...season 5 here i come!!! maybe i'll even get on the treadmill for a bit so i can stretch out my sore muscles...there are muscles in my bum that are hurting that i didn't even know i had...
later people!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
saturday morning ramblings...
good morning to all you people out there! it isn't that early, but it is way too early for me. yesterday was a busy day....worked all day, then met Jon's grandmother, and then went to see the late showing of Avatar (which was totally worth it, what a great movie!!)
so now i'm up, because my brain is telling me i have a million things to do, but i also have a migraine, and i really need to have a shower, but i'm dreading having to do my hair myself for the first time...i really love the cut, but i'm not sure if i can do it...oh well, i guess i'll find out. and if i can't do it, i'll just have to look like a crazy cat cuz i can't even pull it up in a ponytail (which kinda scares me)...
what can i tell you about my life? well, it's pretty hectic these days. i'm excited that it is reading week, but it is already filling up fast...for starters, i'm working yesterday, today, monday, and friday...we are going skiing tomorrow and next saturday, i've got tuesday, wednesday, thursday to do homework, so that leaves next sunday for relaxing, which we've already planned a day full of watching movies. that should be really good! and Jon got us matching team canada lounge wear, so we are even going to match all day...lol...he is so cute!
Jon and i are doing really great! we seem to be communicating better than we were before, and life doesn't seem so stressful in that area. he is so supportive of me, and i really rely on him sometimes. the only thing that really bothers me is he has this issue about not getting me flowers...i outright tell him that i want flowers, and he just doesn't get them for me...and it's not like he doesn't spoil me, because he does...heck, i just got a team canada outfit! but i just want flowers...it's just a little thing to say that he loves me, and he's listening to me, and he will go out of his way to make me smile...silly, i know, but that's what i want...
school has been really good, but really busy...it seems that if i'm not doing readings for school, then i'm doing a lesson plan, or thinking about my next project or presentation, or reading up on the whole tuition thing, or worrying about money, or working so that i can supplement my student loans...i barely have time for the people in my life, much less the person i live with. sometimes i feel so guilty about not having enough time, but everyone is so supportive, and Jon has been so fantastic. i really want to focus on my health as well, but that seems like a lost cause as well, because i just can't seem to get myself motivated. i am so tired all the time...hopefully one day i will get the chance to slow down...maybe this summer! although that's always on my mind too, because i'm thinking about where i might be able to work, and saving up to go to greece, and hoping that jon can get the time off that week so he can come with me...there is always so much to think about...being an adult sucks sometimes...
well, i think i'm done with the rambling...i figured i'd come on here and say something, since Joie usually gets mad if i don't, but she hasn't been on here since the last time i was, so she can't say anything now!! lol!
oh, i do have one thing to comment on...saw some guys from highschool yesterday...and it was one of those moments that was pretty good (besides the fact that i was working at chapters)...but i was looking pretty good with my new hair do and my makeup all done up...just was a really good moment...
okay people, have a great day...if you are bored come and visit me at Chapters...i'm there until closing...maybe i'll treat myself to a hot apple cider...or a skinny vanilla latte...
later!
so now i'm up, because my brain is telling me i have a million things to do, but i also have a migraine, and i really need to have a shower, but i'm dreading having to do my hair myself for the first time...i really love the cut, but i'm not sure if i can do it...oh well, i guess i'll find out. and if i can't do it, i'll just have to look like a crazy cat cuz i can't even pull it up in a ponytail (which kinda scares me)...
what can i tell you about my life? well, it's pretty hectic these days. i'm excited that it is reading week, but it is already filling up fast...for starters, i'm working yesterday, today, monday, and friday...we are going skiing tomorrow and next saturday, i've got tuesday, wednesday, thursday to do homework, so that leaves next sunday for relaxing, which we've already planned a day full of watching movies. that should be really good! and Jon got us matching team canada lounge wear, so we are even going to match all day...lol...he is so cute!
Jon and i are doing really great! we seem to be communicating better than we were before, and life doesn't seem so stressful in that area. he is so supportive of me, and i really rely on him sometimes. the only thing that really bothers me is he has this issue about not getting me flowers...i outright tell him that i want flowers, and he just doesn't get them for me...and it's not like he doesn't spoil me, because he does...heck, i just got a team canada outfit! but i just want flowers...it's just a little thing to say that he loves me, and he's listening to me, and he will go out of his way to make me smile...silly, i know, but that's what i want...
school has been really good, but really busy...it seems that if i'm not doing readings for school, then i'm doing a lesson plan, or thinking about my next project or presentation, or reading up on the whole tuition thing, or worrying about money, or working so that i can supplement my student loans...i barely have time for the people in my life, much less the person i live with. sometimes i feel so guilty about not having enough time, but everyone is so supportive, and Jon has been so fantastic. i really want to focus on my health as well, but that seems like a lost cause as well, because i just can't seem to get myself motivated. i am so tired all the time...hopefully one day i will get the chance to slow down...maybe this summer! although that's always on my mind too, because i'm thinking about where i might be able to work, and saving up to go to greece, and hoping that jon can get the time off that week so he can come with me...there is always so much to think about...being an adult sucks sometimes...
well, i think i'm done with the rambling...i figured i'd come on here and say something, since Joie usually gets mad if i don't, but she hasn't been on here since the last time i was, so she can't say anything now!! lol!
oh, i do have one thing to comment on...saw some guys from highschool yesterday...and it was one of those moments that was pretty good (besides the fact that i was working at chapters)...but i was looking pretty good with my new hair do and my makeup all done up...just was a really good moment...
okay people, have a great day...if you are bored come and visit me at Chapters...i'm there until closing...maybe i'll treat myself to a hot apple cider...or a skinny vanilla latte...
later!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
has it really been this long???
okay, so after a little pushing from a friend i realized it's been a while since i wrote here...it just seems odd though. i have gotten much better at talking about myself (maybe a little too good, i think i need to learn to not talk about myself so much now...) but it seems strange to put it down on paper. when you actually write out your thoughts you now have a record of what you have said...and i'm not sure how i feel about that. i also think that when i just say what i want to say it comes out better than when i sit down to write it and actually put thought into what and how i want to say things...i know that sounds a little backwards, but that is how i feel...
so, it's almost a new year, and i'm not sure what is going on with me. school is going great so far, and i am really enjoying it! this first semester has been a bit laid back though, and i'm sure that next semester is going to be a lot more work...i also had a lot more time to do school work in the last couple months, but now that i'm working that is going to cut back on my time. and even though it was Jon that encouraged me to get the job, i think he may become resentful of me because i'm not going to have very much time to share with him while i am in school. well, if we can hold on through my schooling, then we may have a chance...
i'm still just as confused about life as i have ever been...went to see a psyciatrist recently at the reccomendation of the doctor, and i realized that it may be good to have someone to talk to, but at the same time i realized that i'm a really good bullshitter and convinced this poor lady that i pretty much have it all figured out and that i don't need any help...isn't that a laugh...i know that i have many years of stuff bottled up inside, and i know that i take it out a bit on Jon when he says or does something that just triggers a nasty reaction in me...it's not his fault, and it's hard for me to say to him why it bothers me, because i don't want to hurt his feelings, and i don't want him to see how screwed up i really am...sometimes i think that i wasn't meant to be in a relationship, and that i really just need to finally accept that i will be the crazy old cat lady...
i love Jon so much, and thinking about a life without him tears me apart, but sometimes it feels like neither one of us are ready for this whole relationship thing. i really want to sit him down and ask him what he sees when he looks into our future, if he has any plans. it seems that all he wants to do is cruise along and just stay where we are at now, but at the same time complaining that he doesn't want to become the stereotypical couple...well, if he has it his way we are going to become hermits... he is so confusing, and most of the time i'm not sure how to make him happy...i don't know if it's just my internal clock ticking away, telling me that i'm getting old and need to settle down, or if it's all the growing families around me...i just feel like i always do, like i don't fit in....i know i know, everyone is different and everyone gets there at a different time, but sometimes i feel like i've missed my time...
okay, enough self pity...so, christmas was actually pretty good this year. I got a new ski outfit from Jon, and i love it! i really hope that we go skiing a ton this winter. it seems that he makes tons of plans with everyone else to go out to the hill, but never thinks to invite me...i know that i'm only a beginner, and that i ski and not snowboard, but i really want to go...Joie, if you are reading this, we should totally make plans, it would be fun and exercise all in one day!
okay, i really need to get off this thing, because it's becoming a pity party, and all i can think of are things to complain about...school, work, my car, my house, my furniture, the weather, my health, etc. etc....
going to try and be more positive today...maybe that's a good new years resolution...going to exercise, pick up Jon's flames tickets i got him for christmas, exchange the jacket he got me cuz one of the the snaps is broken, and then do a power cleaning on my house because it really needs it and my sisters (emily and carolyn) are coming over tomorrow night for a girls night and i really don't want to have to worry about dirty bathrooms...
have a great day out there, and remember to think positively...
Lindsay
so, it's almost a new year, and i'm not sure what is going on with me. school is going great so far, and i am really enjoying it! this first semester has been a bit laid back though, and i'm sure that next semester is going to be a lot more work...i also had a lot more time to do school work in the last couple months, but now that i'm working that is going to cut back on my time. and even though it was Jon that encouraged me to get the job, i think he may become resentful of me because i'm not going to have very much time to share with him while i am in school. well, if we can hold on through my schooling, then we may have a chance...
i'm still just as confused about life as i have ever been...went to see a psyciatrist recently at the reccomendation of the doctor, and i realized that it may be good to have someone to talk to, but at the same time i realized that i'm a really good bullshitter and convinced this poor lady that i pretty much have it all figured out and that i don't need any help...isn't that a laugh...i know that i have many years of stuff bottled up inside, and i know that i take it out a bit on Jon when he says or does something that just triggers a nasty reaction in me...it's not his fault, and it's hard for me to say to him why it bothers me, because i don't want to hurt his feelings, and i don't want him to see how screwed up i really am...sometimes i think that i wasn't meant to be in a relationship, and that i really just need to finally accept that i will be the crazy old cat lady...
i love Jon so much, and thinking about a life without him tears me apart, but sometimes it feels like neither one of us are ready for this whole relationship thing. i really want to sit him down and ask him what he sees when he looks into our future, if he has any plans. it seems that all he wants to do is cruise along and just stay where we are at now, but at the same time complaining that he doesn't want to become the stereotypical couple...well, if he has it his way we are going to become hermits... he is so confusing, and most of the time i'm not sure how to make him happy...i don't know if it's just my internal clock ticking away, telling me that i'm getting old and need to settle down, or if it's all the growing families around me...i just feel like i always do, like i don't fit in....i know i know, everyone is different and everyone gets there at a different time, but sometimes i feel like i've missed my time...
okay, enough self pity...so, christmas was actually pretty good this year. I got a new ski outfit from Jon, and i love it! i really hope that we go skiing a ton this winter. it seems that he makes tons of plans with everyone else to go out to the hill, but never thinks to invite me...i know that i'm only a beginner, and that i ski and not snowboard, but i really want to go...Joie, if you are reading this, we should totally make plans, it would be fun and exercise all in one day!
okay, i really need to get off this thing, because it's becoming a pity party, and all i can think of are things to complain about...school, work, my car, my house, my furniture, the weather, my health, etc. etc....
going to try and be more positive today...maybe that's a good new years resolution...going to exercise, pick up Jon's flames tickets i got him for christmas, exchange the jacket he got me cuz one of the the snaps is broken, and then do a power cleaning on my house because it really needs it and my sisters (emily and carolyn) are coming over tomorrow night for a girls night and i really don't want to have to worry about dirty bathrooms...
have a great day out there, and remember to think positively...
Lindsay
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
so many things, so little time...
oh my goodness, only 17 days!!! i can't believe it!!! i started this count at 70 days, and figured i had so much time to get everything done, and now only have a little over 2 weeks until i move back to calgary! i'm so excited!!! i can't wait to be closer to my friends and family, and to Jon. i have so many plans for this summer that i'm sure i'm not going to be able to fit it all in...
but first i have to focus on everything i need to do in the next few weeks! it's a good thing that i decided to start packing weeks ago. i've actually gotten quite a bit done already (which is quite different from my usual ten second pack before joie and jason show up to help me move...lol...). i also have to register for school, do my taxes...ummm...well, actually, i've done quite a bit of my to do list already...i already have tenants for the condo in lethbridge, i've fixed the plumbing (all by myself, junior plumber extrodinaire!), gotten my computer fixed (i haven't had it for a month, thank goodness for my ipod), gotten some dentist work done...still need to help mom fix up the place here a bit...some painting and such...i cleaned up the front yard, but the outside tap needs to be fixed...
it will all get done eventually...one thing at a time...
and then the summer will begin!!! i can't wait for the warm weather...i actually got a bit of a sunburn over the weekend...sat outside for a bit on saturday, and got some color in my face!!! reminder to self, don't forget the sunscreen!! i am so excited for baseball too!!! and Jon and i want to do the P90X program...not sure how that is going to work but i'm sure that the both of us will have some success with it...and get kayaks...and go camping...and i'll be working all summer...and i think i'm horse sitting for a week...and i want to try and serve for stampede week...just a few things...
crap, i have the hiccups...ouch...stupid violent hiccups...
gonna go try to get rid of them...hope you all are doing great out there!!! i'll see most of you soon in 17 days!!! woo hoo!!!
love always,
Lindsay
but first i have to focus on everything i need to do in the next few weeks! it's a good thing that i decided to start packing weeks ago. i've actually gotten quite a bit done already (which is quite different from my usual ten second pack before joie and jason show up to help me move...lol...). i also have to register for school, do my taxes...ummm...well, actually, i've done quite a bit of my to do list already...i already have tenants for the condo in lethbridge, i've fixed the plumbing (all by myself, junior plumber extrodinaire!), gotten my computer fixed (i haven't had it for a month, thank goodness for my ipod), gotten some dentist work done...still need to help mom fix up the place here a bit...some painting and such...i cleaned up the front yard, but the outside tap needs to be fixed...
it will all get done eventually...one thing at a time...
and then the summer will begin!!! i can't wait for the warm weather...i actually got a bit of a sunburn over the weekend...sat outside for a bit on saturday, and got some color in my face!!! reminder to self, don't forget the sunscreen!! i am so excited for baseball too!!! and Jon and i want to do the P90X program...not sure how that is going to work but i'm sure that the both of us will have some success with it...and get kayaks...and go camping...and i'll be working all summer...and i think i'm horse sitting for a week...and i want to try and serve for stampede week...just a few things...
crap, i have the hiccups...ouch...stupid violent hiccups...
gonna go try to get rid of them...hope you all are doing great out there!!! i'll see most of you soon in 17 days!!! woo hoo!!!
love always,
Lindsay
Friday, February 20, 2009
Success!!!
okay, so i can't remember if i said anything about feeling like my whole world is about waiting for something to happen...but guess what??? now it has!!! i have been accepted to the university into the education program!!! i'm so excited! i can't believe it...this is something i've been working towards since i graduated from highschool...so, for ten years now...and now i've been accepted, and i am going back to school...kinda seems anti climatic...
i've been feeling kind of lost this week...all i can think of is moving back to calgary (finally) and going back to school...and moving in with Jon (eek!)...as weird as this may sound, i've never been good with change, and now i'm changing almost every aspect of my life in one summer. i feel like i'm actually an adult (or supposed to be one) and i'm not quite sure what i'm supposed to be doing or feeling...
i am feeling frustrated, because i feel like i'm stuck at the moment...stuck in a house that is starting to drive me crazy, stuck in a job that i'm bored out of my mind in...and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but as close as it, it is still so far...
so, life is amazing and at the same time suffocating...i am a walking paradox...(i was going to say oxymoron, but i know where Joie would go with that one)...my brain is having a hard time processing my thoughts and feelings, and poor Jon is suffering, because i've been very quite and introverted and unfortunately i need more time to come to terms with what is going on in my head. i love the guy so much, and i'm so lucky to have him in my life...i can't wait to be able to see him every day...
okay, i need to stop wallowing...i think i may go lose myself in a book...feel like i'm someone else for a time, give my brain a rest.
goodnight to y'all out there in blogger land!
Lindsay
i've been feeling kind of lost this week...all i can think of is moving back to calgary (finally) and going back to school...and moving in with Jon (eek!)...as weird as this may sound, i've never been good with change, and now i'm changing almost every aspect of my life in one summer. i feel like i'm actually an adult (or supposed to be one) and i'm not quite sure what i'm supposed to be doing or feeling...
i am feeling frustrated, because i feel like i'm stuck at the moment...stuck in a house that is starting to drive me crazy, stuck in a job that i'm bored out of my mind in...and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but as close as it, it is still so far...
so, life is amazing and at the same time suffocating...i am a walking paradox...(i was going to say oxymoron, but i know where Joie would go with that one)...my brain is having a hard time processing my thoughts and feelings, and poor Jon is suffering, because i've been very quite and introverted and unfortunately i need more time to come to terms with what is going on in my head. i love the guy so much, and i'm so lucky to have him in my life...i can't wait to be able to see him every day...
okay, i need to stop wallowing...i think i may go lose myself in a book...feel like i'm someone else for a time, give my brain a rest.
goodnight to y'all out there in blogger land!
Lindsay
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
it's been a very looooonnnggg time...
okay, so i've been slacking in the blogging deptartment...oops...nobody's perfect...
i guess that i've been trying to deal with all my issues internally. i've always been a very private person...and to share my woes goes against the personality that i've been displaying for my whole life...but lately i've gone through some changes, i'm growing, and i've become very short tempered (for me...for anyone else i guess i would just appear normal)...
now that i sound like i'm about to throw myself off a bridge, lets look on the brighter side of things, shall we? life is actually pretty good right now! i've got a job in a time where a lot of people are losing them...not that i think this recession will last long, the price of gas is already going up...but it's a pretty cushy job. the worst that i can say about it is that i'm usually completely bored at work. so really, i'm getting paid pretty good money to sit on my behind all day...too bad the sitting is making the behind quite huge, but i'm trying to focus on the good here. because of the good money i've been able to pay off some bills...even the ones that have accumulated within this last year. i went to europe, and had an amazing time!!! sometimes it seems like it was all a dream! i saw so much in such a short time! i can't wait to go again!
also, and i can't overlook this, i've found an amazing guy who i love with all my heart! it's scary sometimes to think about how much i care for him! i've never before dated a guy where i could honestly say i pictured forever with him (not that i've dated many guys...)...but i truly feel that way now! i still get the "what if's" and the doubts...usually i'm hightailing it for the boarder by now...i think this has also been my longest relationship...and we are coming up on eleven months. but every day is worth it, every moment! he makes me smile, and understands me like no one ever has. i feel like i can be myself with him, and block out the rest of the world. i am definitely a lucky girl!!!
what else?...well, because of the aforementioned boy, i will be moving back to calgary this summer!!! and hopefully i will get into the Bachelor of Education program at the university (fingers crossed!). my life is kind of hanging in the balance at the moment...but really, when has it not been...i tend to fly by the seat of my pants at the best of times...
my life always seems to be about waiting for something to happen...i try and sit back and enjoy the moment, but i'm always looking towards the next event i have planned...
well, that's about all i have to say...that's positive...i still have so much that i'm trying to improve on myself...i've been trying to exercise more and eat better...and i type this as i chow down on chips and dip. i never said that i wasn't self destructive...
well, i think that i'm going to sign off...i've given you all a little look into my life...i might even write more in time...not sure how much time, but sometime...
hope you are all having a great beginning to your year!! here's wishing for sunshine!
Lindsay
i guess that i've been trying to deal with all my issues internally. i've always been a very private person...and to share my woes goes against the personality that i've been displaying for my whole life...but lately i've gone through some changes, i'm growing, and i've become very short tempered (for me...for anyone else i guess i would just appear normal)...
now that i sound like i'm about to throw myself off a bridge, lets look on the brighter side of things, shall we? life is actually pretty good right now! i've got a job in a time where a lot of people are losing them...not that i think this recession will last long, the price of gas is already going up...but it's a pretty cushy job. the worst that i can say about it is that i'm usually completely bored at work. so really, i'm getting paid pretty good money to sit on my behind all day...too bad the sitting is making the behind quite huge, but i'm trying to focus on the good here. because of the good money i've been able to pay off some bills...even the ones that have accumulated within this last year. i went to europe, and had an amazing time!!! sometimes it seems like it was all a dream! i saw so much in such a short time! i can't wait to go again!
also, and i can't overlook this, i've found an amazing guy who i love with all my heart! it's scary sometimes to think about how much i care for him! i've never before dated a guy where i could honestly say i pictured forever with him (not that i've dated many guys...)...but i truly feel that way now! i still get the "what if's" and the doubts...usually i'm hightailing it for the boarder by now...i think this has also been my longest relationship...and we are coming up on eleven months. but every day is worth it, every moment! he makes me smile, and understands me like no one ever has. i feel like i can be myself with him, and block out the rest of the world. i am definitely a lucky girl!!!
what else?...well, because of the aforementioned boy, i will be moving back to calgary this summer!!! and hopefully i will get into the Bachelor of Education program at the university (fingers crossed!). my life is kind of hanging in the balance at the moment...but really, when has it not been...i tend to fly by the seat of my pants at the best of times...
my life always seems to be about waiting for something to happen...i try and sit back and enjoy the moment, but i'm always looking towards the next event i have planned...
well, that's about all i have to say...that's positive...i still have so much that i'm trying to improve on myself...i've been trying to exercise more and eat better...and i type this as i chow down on chips and dip. i never said that i wasn't self destructive...
well, i think that i'm going to sign off...i've given you all a little look into my life...i might even write more in time...not sure how much time, but sometime...
hope you are all having a great beginning to your year!! here's wishing for sunshine!
Lindsay
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
what a weekend...
where to start...well, let's start at the beginning of the weekend...
friday: went to work, packed up everything i had gotten together for camping, asked the roommate if she had any plans for the weekend and she said no (remember this for later, it's important), and drove to calgary. spent and evening with my honey running around spending a ton of money.
saturday: woke up early to get a few final things and we were off to camping. we find the place, settle in (quite quickly too, we are a very efficient pair), and start a fire. it was a great afternoon! the sun was shining and we were actually camping, and alone together. we played some catch (where Jon misses one of my throws and catches the ball in the chest), had a few drinks, and mostly just enjoyed each others company! Jon got stung, but fortunately it was only a fly by, and so he didn't react too badly. his arm swelled and he felt off, but no issues with breathing and no trips to emergency, so that was good. it got cloudy and rainy so we played some cards, had a nap, and went back out by the fire when the rain let up. had a great dinner of bison burgers, and headed to bed.
sunday: woke up to find it had rained for most of the night. Jon didn't sleep so well because of his arm, and it was a cold night so of course i didn't sleep so well. we got up and decided that we wanted to cook breakfast, but first we needed to put up a tarp, and get more firewood. we put up the tarp (again, very efficient) and started a fire, got more wood, and proceeded in cooking. tried to use the hand-me-down hibatchi...didn't go so well, so just put the pans directly over the fire, worked much better! i think i'm missing something with the hibatchi, but i will figure it out. so, cooking breakfast, and everything is coming along well, and Jon picks up the sausages off the fire in the metal roasting rack, and his hand slips up the handle and he burns himself...not good...not a big burn, but a painful one on his fingers. so that sucks, but breakfast was great! we sit around the fire for a while, Jon taught me to play crib...almost beat him, but i showed him who's boss at crazy eight count down! and apparently i become a different person when i play cards...i don't believe him, he's just sad cuz he lost...lol...and i'm not competitive at all...so in the afternoon Jon has a nap and i decide to read for a while. it seemed like it was getting nice outside so i went and read in the sun. it was great! when Jon woke up he still wasn't feeling so great (because of the sting) so we went for a little walk to see if fresh air would work. then it looked like the clouds were rolling in again, and Jon wasn't feeling good, so we packed up. went back to his house and hung out with the roommates.
monday: day of rest! what a nice day! Brandon made breakfast, watched some movies, and hung out with my baby all day!
tuesday: go to random doctors appointments in two different cities and come back to lethbridge to find out my roommate moved out over the weekend...now i'm sitting here confused, wondering if i did something that would make her scared to mention to me that she wanted to move out. not sure why she wouldn't tell me. i specifically asked if she had any plans, and she lied to my face! we didn't sign an agreement or anything, i'm not a pushy roommate, i thought we were getting along well...i guess i was deluded...
and i found out i might have irritable bowl syndrome, which is brought on by stress, which i'm guessing is right cuz i'm totally not feeling well, and have a bit of a fever...just need to let it go. whatever. just don't know why she would just get up and leave.
tomorrow: i have to convince my boss to let me go for two more appointments (which i'm not looking forward to, he's been really good about giving me days off, and i'm starting to push my luck...and i'm going to need another day off in september, october, and november...this wouldn't be a problem if they would just give me vacation days from the start)...but hopefully this will be the end of it, and i will feel better. i have to get food for treats for two birthday's at work and get everyone to sign the cards. and i have to catch up on the paperwork i missed today. not that it will take me long, but it has to be done. oh well, no lunch break tomorrow...
okay, i should probably go to bed...maybe read for a while, that will get my mind off things!
hope you all had a great long weekend. sorry for all the venting messages, they will get better i hope. next weekend is birthday celebrations, and i am going to relax!
night!
Lindsay
friday: went to work, packed up everything i had gotten together for camping, asked the roommate if she had any plans for the weekend and she said no (remember this for later, it's important), and drove to calgary. spent and evening with my honey running around spending a ton of money.
saturday: woke up early to get a few final things and we were off to camping. we find the place, settle in (quite quickly too, we are a very efficient pair), and start a fire. it was a great afternoon! the sun was shining and we were actually camping, and alone together. we played some catch (where Jon misses one of my throws and catches the ball in the chest), had a few drinks, and mostly just enjoyed each others company! Jon got stung, but fortunately it was only a fly by, and so he didn't react too badly. his arm swelled and he felt off, but no issues with breathing and no trips to emergency, so that was good. it got cloudy and rainy so we played some cards, had a nap, and went back out by the fire when the rain let up. had a great dinner of bison burgers, and headed to bed.
sunday: woke up to find it had rained for most of the night. Jon didn't sleep so well because of his arm, and it was a cold night so of course i didn't sleep so well. we got up and decided that we wanted to cook breakfast, but first we needed to put up a tarp, and get more firewood. we put up the tarp (again, very efficient) and started a fire, got more wood, and proceeded in cooking. tried to use the hand-me-down hibatchi...didn't go so well, so just put the pans directly over the fire, worked much better! i think i'm missing something with the hibatchi, but i will figure it out. so, cooking breakfast, and everything is coming along well, and Jon picks up the sausages off the fire in the metal roasting rack, and his hand slips up the handle and he burns himself...not good...not a big burn, but a painful one on his fingers. so that sucks, but breakfast was great! we sit around the fire for a while, Jon taught me to play crib...almost beat him, but i showed him who's boss at crazy eight count down! and apparently i become a different person when i play cards...i don't believe him, he's just sad cuz he lost...lol...and i'm not competitive at all...so in the afternoon Jon has a nap and i decide to read for a while. it seemed like it was getting nice outside so i went and read in the sun. it was great! when Jon woke up he still wasn't feeling so great (because of the sting) so we went for a little walk to see if fresh air would work. then it looked like the clouds were rolling in again, and Jon wasn't feeling good, so we packed up. went back to his house and hung out with the roommates.
monday: day of rest! what a nice day! Brandon made breakfast, watched some movies, and hung out with my baby all day!
tuesday: go to random doctors appointments in two different cities and come back to lethbridge to find out my roommate moved out over the weekend...now i'm sitting here confused, wondering if i did something that would make her scared to mention to me that she wanted to move out. not sure why she wouldn't tell me. i specifically asked if she had any plans, and she lied to my face! we didn't sign an agreement or anything, i'm not a pushy roommate, i thought we were getting along well...i guess i was deluded...
and i found out i might have irritable bowl syndrome, which is brought on by stress, which i'm guessing is right cuz i'm totally not feeling well, and have a bit of a fever...just need to let it go. whatever. just don't know why she would just get up and leave.
tomorrow: i have to convince my boss to let me go for two more appointments (which i'm not looking forward to, he's been really good about giving me days off, and i'm starting to push my luck...and i'm going to need another day off in september, october, and november...this wouldn't be a problem if they would just give me vacation days from the start)...but hopefully this will be the end of it, and i will feel better. i have to get food for treats for two birthday's at work and get everyone to sign the cards. and i have to catch up on the paperwork i missed today. not that it will take me long, but it has to be done. oh well, no lunch break tomorrow...
okay, i should probably go to bed...maybe read for a while, that will get my mind off things!
hope you all had a great long weekend. sorry for all the venting messages, they will get better i hope. next weekend is birthday celebrations, and i am going to relax!
night!
Lindsay
Monday, July 14, 2008
more pet peeves...
okay, so i know i went on a bit of a rant last time...but i just have two things to add...
caller id...just because you received a phone call from a number doesn't mean that the person on the other end was actually trying to contact you. if they don't leave a message, then it was probably not that important. the most ridiculous thing in the world is when i get a phone call from someone saying "um, someone there called me, do you know why?" of course i don't know! there are 15 people i work with, and most of them are clowns (okay, most of them are boys, and that explains everything) and they may have called you, and they may have accidentally dialled the wrong number, but if they didn't leave a message and you don't recognize the number, then chances are nobody on this end of the phone wants to talk to you! so don't call!!!
and my last one is that if i page a phone call for you, and you don't pick up, but the caller hangs up before i have a chance to get their name or take any sort of message, then i probably don't know who it is. if you ask me if they left a message, and i say the hung up before i had a chance to ask, don't get mad at me for them not having any patience. it's not my fault! i'm keeping track of the calls coming in and people aren't waiting forever to hear a human voice, so if they can't wait for me to come back and say you are busy, that is their problem, not mine!
okay, i'm finished ranting...lol, i know i know, it's all petty stuff, but it does get to a person. it's a good thing i have a short memory, and get over stuff fast!
and Joie, just to let you know, i finally finished my taxes...and it took me all of 30 minutes...i know, i procrastinate too much sometimes, but that's just the way i am...and you love me for it!
well, i'm working way to much, and not sleeping nearly enough, and trying to be somewhat healthy (okay, thinking about trying to be somewhat healthy), and trying to save some money, and trying to come up with some small but amazing trip to take Jon on for august long weekend, because he deserves a break and i love him and i want us to have a little vacation for the two of us. just got the best email from my little sister who is living in Ireland. i'm still completely jealous of her, but at the same time i don't know if i could handle the crazy life she is living. i would definitely not get as much enjoyment out of it as she is! but i'm so proud of her, and she's going to have memories that will last a lifetime!
and i'm reading my crazy long books again. i like them so much! it's so hard to put them down. i wonder if Joie's mom would be willing to part with them for a while...i know that she finds them a little overwhelming...but i love every second. i am a lot like Jon in what i like to read...he always feels like a geek when trying to explain his video game to me, so this weekend i sat him down and started to explain this series that i'm reading, and now i know how he feels, cuz i felt like a comlete dork myself. but if he liked reading, this is something that he would totally enjoy! it would be so neat if someone was to make a movie out of these books, but they would be a million hours long...for each book...and there are 10 or 11 books in the series right now...ya, i don't think that's going to happen. i'm also watching the complete star wars set right now...i'm on movie #5. i'm a geek, i know. at least i'm willing to admit it.
i've been looking into real estate in calgary. just to see what's out there. won't be looking for anything seriously till at least the winter...probably december or january. i know that i told my boss i would stay till march...but i don't know if i can last that long...every weekend when i have to say goodbye to Jon and to my friends and family it gets harder and harder...i don't know what's different, but maybe it's just that i'm in calgary a lot more now and there is way too much to do and way too many people to see in such a short time. and i miss Jon so much. everytime something happens i want to tell him, and when i'm sleeping i search for him on the other side of the bed. i want to be able to enjoy a weekend without having to worry about the travel time. i don't get to rest on the weekends cuz i'm trying to fit a whole week into two days (and sometimes only one day). i don't know...i'll keep you all posted...wish i would just win the lottery or something...
well, i'm gonna go read or something...just relax...have to prepare myself for this weekend...working thursday friday saturday and sunday at oj's (including the monday to friday at eecol) and working a double shift on saturday...it's gonna be a long weekend, but probably very good for my wallet, so i can't complain.
later y'all!! love ya!
Lindsay
caller id...just because you received a phone call from a number doesn't mean that the person on the other end was actually trying to contact you. if they don't leave a message, then it was probably not that important. the most ridiculous thing in the world is when i get a phone call from someone saying "um, someone there called me, do you know why?" of course i don't know! there are 15 people i work with, and most of them are clowns (okay, most of them are boys, and that explains everything) and they may have called you, and they may have accidentally dialled the wrong number, but if they didn't leave a message and you don't recognize the number, then chances are nobody on this end of the phone wants to talk to you! so don't call!!!
and my last one is that if i page a phone call for you, and you don't pick up, but the caller hangs up before i have a chance to get their name or take any sort of message, then i probably don't know who it is. if you ask me if they left a message, and i say the hung up before i had a chance to ask, don't get mad at me for them not having any patience. it's not my fault! i'm keeping track of the calls coming in and people aren't waiting forever to hear a human voice, so if they can't wait for me to come back and say you are busy, that is their problem, not mine!
okay, i'm finished ranting...lol, i know i know, it's all petty stuff, but it does get to a person. it's a good thing i have a short memory, and get over stuff fast!
and Joie, just to let you know, i finally finished my taxes...and it took me all of 30 minutes...i know, i procrastinate too much sometimes, but that's just the way i am...and you love me for it!
well, i'm working way to much, and not sleeping nearly enough, and trying to be somewhat healthy (okay, thinking about trying to be somewhat healthy), and trying to save some money, and trying to come up with some small but amazing trip to take Jon on for august long weekend, because he deserves a break and i love him and i want us to have a little vacation for the two of us. just got the best email from my little sister who is living in Ireland. i'm still completely jealous of her, but at the same time i don't know if i could handle the crazy life she is living. i would definitely not get as much enjoyment out of it as she is! but i'm so proud of her, and she's going to have memories that will last a lifetime!
and i'm reading my crazy long books again. i like them so much! it's so hard to put them down. i wonder if Joie's mom would be willing to part with them for a while...i know that she finds them a little overwhelming...but i love every second. i am a lot like Jon in what i like to read...he always feels like a geek when trying to explain his video game to me, so this weekend i sat him down and started to explain this series that i'm reading, and now i know how he feels, cuz i felt like a comlete dork myself. but if he liked reading, this is something that he would totally enjoy! it would be so neat if someone was to make a movie out of these books, but they would be a million hours long...for each book...and there are 10 or 11 books in the series right now...ya, i don't think that's going to happen. i'm also watching the complete star wars set right now...i'm on movie #5. i'm a geek, i know. at least i'm willing to admit it.
i've been looking into real estate in calgary. just to see what's out there. won't be looking for anything seriously till at least the winter...probably december or january. i know that i told my boss i would stay till march...but i don't know if i can last that long...every weekend when i have to say goodbye to Jon and to my friends and family it gets harder and harder...i don't know what's different, but maybe it's just that i'm in calgary a lot more now and there is way too much to do and way too many people to see in such a short time. and i miss Jon so much. everytime something happens i want to tell him, and when i'm sleeping i search for him on the other side of the bed. i want to be able to enjoy a weekend without having to worry about the travel time. i don't get to rest on the weekends cuz i'm trying to fit a whole week into two days (and sometimes only one day). i don't know...i'll keep you all posted...wish i would just win the lottery or something...
well, i'm gonna go read or something...just relax...have to prepare myself for this weekend...working thursday friday saturday and sunday at oj's (including the monday to friday at eecol) and working a double shift on saturday...it's gonna be a long weekend, but probably very good for my wallet, so i can't complain.
later y'all!! love ya!
Lindsay
Thursday, July 3, 2008
pet peeves...
okay, so this may not be a pleasant post, but i need to rant.
what is it with people??? maybe it's just me, but there are things that are driving me absolutely batty these days!
first of all, people who repeat themselves. and not just once, not twice, at least 4 or 5 times! it's like they are a child trying to get the attention of an adult! for children it is understandable, sometimes they need to repeat themselves to be heard, they are just little people trying to make their mark on the world. but when you are an adult, it just sounds desperate! i feel like shouting, i heard you the first time! even when i walk away the repetition follows me...i agreed the first 4 times, do you think i'm going to change my mind?
pet peeve #2: people who go through all the stuff on my desk! i know that i'm just a receptionist, and that i don't make as much as everyone else or are as important, but it is technically my desk, and the stuff on top of it is the stuff i am working with! don't touch! don't go through my inbox, or the other files underneath my inbox that have nothing to do with you! i can't stand it when people do this, what the heck??? i don't go through the stuff on their desks! i don't care if you think it has something to do with you, or if your name appears on the item in which you want to look at...ask me!!! i will explain it to you, or ask you about it!
pet peeve #3: people who sit at my desk, use my phone, and my computer, while i am standing behind them waiting to use my desk, phone, and computer! i don't sit at your computer and use your phone and take up your space when you are trying to work! i don't understand...maybe i create too much of an attachment to inanimate things...
pet peeve #4: this one doesn't have a title, but i do have an explanation...i'm standing in line at the store yesterday, and there are three people in front of me. the guy at the front is paying, the second guy has his stuff on the belt, and the guy in front of me is holding his stuff...now, this doesn't make sense to me...so i'm standing there, unable to decide if i should put my stuff on the belt or not. my concern is that once the second guy's stuff starts to get scanned and put through, my stuff is going to shoot to the front, and the clerk is going to either think that my stuff belongs to the guy in front of me, or that i'm with the guy in front of me (yuck!). he finally realizes that maybe he should put his stuff on at the last moment before all my stuff goes flying past him, and i realize that the guy behind me isn't putting his stuff on the belt! and there are at least two people behind him...i don't understand...
pet peeve #5: people who drive across parking lots without paying attention (not down the lanes, but actually across the stalls). there are lines painted on the cement for a reason! they just go flying through with no thought to the fact that someone might just plow into them at any moment because they are idiots and have no clue as to how this whole driving thing works (and i'm not even going to start on my issue with bad drivers, cuz this would turn into a novel).
okay, i should probably stop my whining. i just had to get that off my chest. i'm sure there are more...
i'm excited for the weekend! a big hike and the stampede!! and i might even do my taxes this weekend...lol...i should probably do that...
okay, well, this is just my lunch break, so i should probably get back to work...
later y'all!
what is it with people??? maybe it's just me, but there are things that are driving me absolutely batty these days!
first of all, people who repeat themselves. and not just once, not twice, at least 4 or 5 times! it's like they are a child trying to get the attention of an adult! for children it is understandable, sometimes they need to repeat themselves to be heard, they are just little people trying to make their mark on the world. but when you are an adult, it just sounds desperate! i feel like shouting, i heard you the first time! even when i walk away the repetition follows me...i agreed the first 4 times, do you think i'm going to change my mind?
pet peeve #2: people who go through all the stuff on my desk! i know that i'm just a receptionist, and that i don't make as much as everyone else or are as important, but it is technically my desk, and the stuff on top of it is the stuff i am working with! don't touch! don't go through my inbox, or the other files underneath my inbox that have nothing to do with you! i can't stand it when people do this, what the heck??? i don't go through the stuff on their desks! i don't care if you think it has something to do with you, or if your name appears on the item in which you want to look at...ask me!!! i will explain it to you, or ask you about it!
pet peeve #3: people who sit at my desk, use my phone, and my computer, while i am standing behind them waiting to use my desk, phone, and computer! i don't sit at your computer and use your phone and take up your space when you are trying to work! i don't understand...maybe i create too much of an attachment to inanimate things...
pet peeve #4: this one doesn't have a title, but i do have an explanation...i'm standing in line at the store yesterday, and there are three people in front of me. the guy at the front is paying, the second guy has his stuff on the belt, and the guy in front of me is holding his stuff...now, this doesn't make sense to me...so i'm standing there, unable to decide if i should put my stuff on the belt or not. my concern is that once the second guy's stuff starts to get scanned and put through, my stuff is going to shoot to the front, and the clerk is going to either think that my stuff belongs to the guy in front of me, or that i'm with the guy in front of me (yuck!). he finally realizes that maybe he should put his stuff on at the last moment before all my stuff goes flying past him, and i realize that the guy behind me isn't putting his stuff on the belt! and there are at least two people behind him...i don't understand...
pet peeve #5: people who drive across parking lots without paying attention (not down the lanes, but actually across the stalls). there are lines painted on the cement for a reason! they just go flying through with no thought to the fact that someone might just plow into them at any moment because they are idiots and have no clue as to how this whole driving thing works (and i'm not even going to start on my issue with bad drivers, cuz this would turn into a novel).
okay, i should probably stop my whining. i just had to get that off my chest. i'm sure there are more...
i'm excited for the weekend! a big hike and the stampede!! and i might even do my taxes this weekend...lol...i should probably do that...
okay, well, this is just my lunch break, so i should probably get back to work...
later y'all!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
i think i'm growing up...
okay, first of all, i just had a great weekend!!! celebrating cathy's birthday with a day at shakers family fun center, and then a fabulous dinner at Bolero...it was so good!!! and having dinner with my mom and her boyfriend and Jon. it was such a good evening. i really think my mom is finally warming up to the idea of me and Jon together. i knew that she would love him as much as i do once she gave him a chance. he is so amazing, and he loves me so much. it wasn't going to be long until she accepted him. and now she's doing the girlfriend's mom thing and asking him to help out with stuff around the house. and he loves it!
okay, so...me, finally growing up...this whole relationship thing is like a whole new world. i really never understood how a relationship could be like this. i've seen the people around me in their relationships, and can't understand what it was for them to be together, even when they were upset at each other. but still these couples have worked out their issues and are happy together. and it all seemed so ridiculous to me until now. even though i'm still scared, i'm also excited. looking forward to the future is something new to me, and some days it seems to consume me. living so far away is practically torture. that is what Jon said the other day, and it pains me to know that i'm causing that hurt. i know it won't be forever, and i'm sure that i won't be staying in Lethbridge until March. i just want to be able to come home to him at the end of a day of work, and cook dinner together, and be able to do seperate things on the weekend and not feel guilty because it's cutting into the short time that we have together.
and we've been making so many plans. i'm still feeling guilty that i'm taking up all his time, but he keeps telling me that he enjoys every second. well, i guess that if he's not going to complain i should just accept it. i am going to try to make more time for us to spend with brandon and hopefully go and visit his mom and his sister.
well, i should probably get some sleep. i'm finally feeling better and i should probably try to stay that way...lol...goodnight to all you out in blogger land, hope my blog didn't put you to sleep, i know it's not that exciting...
later!
okay, so...me, finally growing up...this whole relationship thing is like a whole new world. i really never understood how a relationship could be like this. i've seen the people around me in their relationships, and can't understand what it was for them to be together, even when they were upset at each other. but still these couples have worked out their issues and are happy together. and it all seemed so ridiculous to me until now. even though i'm still scared, i'm also excited. looking forward to the future is something new to me, and some days it seems to consume me. living so far away is practically torture. that is what Jon said the other day, and it pains me to know that i'm causing that hurt. i know it won't be forever, and i'm sure that i won't be staying in Lethbridge until March. i just want to be able to come home to him at the end of a day of work, and cook dinner together, and be able to do seperate things on the weekend and not feel guilty because it's cutting into the short time that we have together.
and we've been making so many plans. i'm still feeling guilty that i'm taking up all his time, but he keeps telling me that he enjoys every second. well, i guess that if he's not going to complain i should just accept it. i am going to try to make more time for us to spend with brandon and hopefully go and visit his mom and his sister.
well, i should probably get some sleep. i'm finally feeling better and i should probably try to stay that way...lol...goodnight to all you out in blogger land, hope my blog didn't put you to sleep, i know it's not that exciting...
later!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
the secret life of the american teenager
this is the title of a new show coming out, with Molly Ringwald acting in it! she doesn't look very old in the preview, but she must be getting up there...i'm very interested in seeing it...tuesday night on abc...someone remind me! Joie, i leave that to you!
well, i'm starting to feel a little better. still pretty tired, but trying to stay up past 7! yay!
watching trading moms...i love this show...so much drama! it's awesome!
can't wait to go to calgary on friday! wanna see my man, and relax, and spend time with my family and friends. i really need to move back to Calgary. it would make all this so much easier.
okay, well, i think i have used up my energy for the day...but this is two posts in a few short days...so you all should be proud of me! lol...i am!
goodnight all...sweet dreams!
well, i'm starting to feel a little better. still pretty tired, but trying to stay up past 7! yay!
watching trading moms...i love this show...so much drama! it's awesome!
can't wait to go to calgary on friday! wanna see my man, and relax, and spend time with my family and friends. i really need to move back to Calgary. it would make all this so much easier.
okay, well, i think i have used up my energy for the day...but this is two posts in a few short days...so you all should be proud of me! lol...i am!
goodnight all...sweet dreams!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
waiting...
okay okay, i'm putting up a post...geez...*giggle*
so, i'm just sitting here waiting for my boyfriend (that's right, i said boyfriend) to show up and take care of me.
life has been pretty hectic since the last time i was on here...so i guess i'll fill you all in...let's see, i started dating Jon, and i have no complaints! he is so amazing to me, and i can actually see a future for us...i actually want a future for us! he is very good at saying all the cheezy stuff that makes my heart melt, but with his words, he also proves how he feels by how he treats me, and how he acts. i have always felt that in my previous relationships i was pretending...
oops, i think i hear his truck...i'll be back...
yay...i'm so excited!!!!
.....
okay, so it's now the next day...and less than 24 hours later he is gone :( i wish it could have been longer, we don't seem to have enough time together...but he does have a big test tomorrow, and he has to go check in on his roomates dogs...
i can't wait until the day i move back to calgary. to be closer to everyone and not have to book time in for everyone, it will be amazing.
well, i guess i just have to make do with where i am right now. hey, i just got new couches! and they are so cute, and much more comfortable than my old, ugly as sin couch. and now i have more seating for if i have guests!
i have been sick for the last week...poor Jon had to deal with my sniffling, coughing, oh poor me whining while he was here...but i did warn him before he came...he wanted to come take care of me...he is so sweet.
not sure how long my job at original joe's is going to last...i called in sick for both my shifts this weekend (not cuz Jon was in town...i'm really sick...) and i've booked off next weekend...and the weekend after....and the weekend after...oops...oh well, not sure if i want two jobs right now. the extra money is really nice, and i do like working there, but i feel so bad booking off so much time...
well, that's about it i guess...i'm really boring...i'm gonna go finish watching the movies that we rented all by myself...the sweet girlie movies...hmmm, i think i'm making a connection...lol, just joking...
hope you are all having a great summer! thank goodness for sunshine!
later!
so, i'm just sitting here waiting for my boyfriend (that's right, i said boyfriend) to show up and take care of me.
life has been pretty hectic since the last time i was on here...so i guess i'll fill you all in...let's see, i started dating Jon, and i have no complaints! he is so amazing to me, and i can actually see a future for us...i actually want a future for us! he is very good at saying all the cheezy stuff that makes my heart melt, but with his words, he also proves how he feels by how he treats me, and how he acts. i have always felt that in my previous relationships i was pretending...
oops, i think i hear his truck...i'll be back...
yay...i'm so excited!!!!
.....
okay, so it's now the next day...and less than 24 hours later he is gone :( i wish it could have been longer, we don't seem to have enough time together...but he does have a big test tomorrow, and he has to go check in on his roomates dogs...
i can't wait until the day i move back to calgary. to be closer to everyone and not have to book time in for everyone, it will be amazing.
well, i guess i just have to make do with where i am right now. hey, i just got new couches! and they are so cute, and much more comfortable than my old, ugly as sin couch. and now i have more seating for if i have guests!
i have been sick for the last week...poor Jon had to deal with my sniffling, coughing, oh poor me whining while he was here...but i did warn him before he came...he wanted to come take care of me...he is so sweet.
not sure how long my job at original joe's is going to last...i called in sick for both my shifts this weekend (not cuz Jon was in town...i'm really sick...) and i've booked off next weekend...and the weekend after....and the weekend after...oops...oh well, not sure if i want two jobs right now. the extra money is really nice, and i do like working there, but i feel so bad booking off so much time...
well, that's about it i guess...i'm really boring...i'm gonna go finish watching the movies that we rented all by myself...the sweet girlie movies...hmmm, i think i'm making a connection...lol, just joking...
hope you are all having a great summer! thank goodness for sunshine!
later!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
hey stranger
so, i used to surf others blogs to see what they were up to, and frowned when there were no recent updates...and now here i am, with almost a month going by since my last post...oops...
well, life is doing really good! amazing in fact!!! things are going great, and sometimes i'm not sure that it's all real. hopefully one of these days it sinks in...lol...
job is going great! i love it there. everyone is so nice to me! i hope that i'm doing good...some days i feel like i'm useless, but i guess that's the role of the receptionist.
ummm....my friends are amazing! so supportive!
ummm...family is doing great! my little sister turned 21 this week...i feel so old! and she's working in an irish pub, in ireland!!! i'm so jealous! but happy where i am...can't wait to travel once i finally grow up...oh wait, i'm already travelling...i guess that i never need to grow up!!! yay!!!
roomate is doing great! and we have a temporary cat for 2 months...kitty sitting for my sister. it's been okay...the cat is driving me crazy though....i've never seen a cat more desperate for attention! he's literally under my feet all the time, or cuddled up to my side, or meowing to me at the bathroom door...he's crazy! Cathy says he's french...well, i'm beginning to agree!
and that's about all i have to say at the moment, cuz i'm tired (worked both jobs yesterday, and tonight is my resting night...in which i'm cleaning, doing laundry, and trying to play with the cat so he doesn't feel so unloved...). hope you are all doing amazing out there!
Lindsay
well, life is doing really good! amazing in fact!!! things are going great, and sometimes i'm not sure that it's all real. hopefully one of these days it sinks in...lol...
job is going great! i love it there. everyone is so nice to me! i hope that i'm doing good...some days i feel like i'm useless, but i guess that's the role of the receptionist.
ummm....my friends are amazing! so supportive!
ummm...family is doing great! my little sister turned 21 this week...i feel so old! and she's working in an irish pub, in ireland!!! i'm so jealous! but happy where i am...can't wait to travel once i finally grow up...oh wait, i'm already travelling...i guess that i never need to grow up!!! yay!!!
roomate is doing great! and we have a temporary cat for 2 months...kitty sitting for my sister. it's been okay...the cat is driving me crazy though....i've never seen a cat more desperate for attention! he's literally under my feet all the time, or cuddled up to my side, or meowing to me at the bathroom door...he's crazy! Cathy says he's french...well, i'm beginning to agree!
and that's about all i have to say at the moment, cuz i'm tired (worked both jobs yesterday, and tonight is my resting night...in which i'm cleaning, doing laundry, and trying to play with the cat so he doesn't feel so unloved...). hope you are all doing amazing out there!
Lindsay
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
update definitely needed!
so, my last post was completely upsetting and miserable, i really need to update it. things are doing good since i was last here. Emily is doing really well, and that kid adapts to any situation like a pro! she is now all about reading the labels and such. she is such an organized little kid, this is going to be no problem for her. she has been totally spoiled (she got guitar hero, new clothes, and tons of attention)...although, she's always spoiled, but she's worth it! i love that kid so much, and i hate needles so much, it's just hard for me to picture having to deal with that every day. but everything is going well, and her only worry is that she's going to put on weight (which she really needs anyways).
okay, so on to other things. job is going really well. my only issue is that when it is slow, i really don't have much to do. i think i surprised the boss today by offering to organize the storage room (boxes everywhere...it's scary). but it's good, and i'm kind of excited to get at it!
foot is doing well! i've actually been running for the last week! it's been great!
life is pretty good at the moment...there are still some wrinkles to iron out, but i'm working on them...not really sure what it is i want or where those wrinkles are located, but i'll find them and work on it.
hope that all you people are doing great!
okay, so on to other things. job is going really well. my only issue is that when it is slow, i really don't have much to do. i think i surprised the boss today by offering to organize the storage room (boxes everywhere...it's scary). but it's good, and i'm kind of excited to get at it!
foot is doing well! i've actually been running for the last week! it's been great!
life is pretty good at the moment...there are still some wrinkles to iron out, but i'm working on them...not really sure what it is i want or where those wrinkles are located, but i'll find them and work on it.
hope that all you people are doing great!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
dying inside...
i don't know what to do...there's noting i can do...one of the most amazing people i know is sick, and there's nothing i can do about it. my baby sister, who lights up every room she is in, who sees good in everyone and everything, who is brilliant and amazing and beautiful, has been diagnosed with diabetes...and i can't make it all better for her. i'm hurting so much for what she has to go through, and i wish i could do it for her. she's only 12. i just want to be there for her, and i can't even do that.
and i feel so selfish for hurting so much, cuz it's her that's going through this...i can't deal with this right now...i just want to go to calgary...
and i feel so selfish for hurting so much, cuz it's her that's going through this...i can't deal with this right now...i just want to go to calgary...
Sunday, March 2, 2008
changes...
wow, it feels like my life has been turned upside down. since i broke my foot (exactly a month ago) carolyn has moved to europe, i got a new job (which i start tomorrow), i got a new roomate (who moves in tomorrow), i feel like i've moved every item in my house around at least twice, haven't worked for a month, and my head is just spinning right now cuz i'm getting back into the swing of things, and have to be at work by 7:30 tomorrow morning. i've also made major changes on what i want to do with my future, and feel like i'm actually moving towards something again.
now Joie says she has to find me a man so i don't become the crazy cat lady...lol...i don't need a man...lately i don't know what to think about them. looking at my two best friends, and everyone around me, getting married and having families...it's kind of intense...and everyone knows that i'm not the best with commitment...ya, it's a long story...
so, i can no longer be on the computer 24 hours a day, since i don't have a pc at work (although i have a mighty nice green screen). i'm sorry to all those people out there that i have kept entertained for the last month...i will now be the late night surfer...not sure how i'm gonna keep up with you all now...keep me posted on everything!!! i will miss you!!!
okay...gotta go get some sleep, i actually have to wake up early tomorrow...
Lindsay
now Joie says she has to find me a man so i don't become the crazy cat lady...lol...i don't need a man...lately i don't know what to think about them. looking at my two best friends, and everyone around me, getting married and having families...it's kind of intense...and everyone knows that i'm not the best with commitment...ya, it's a long story...
so, i can no longer be on the computer 24 hours a day, since i don't have a pc at work (although i have a mighty nice green screen). i'm sorry to all those people out there that i have kept entertained for the last month...i will now be the late night surfer...not sure how i'm gonna keep up with you all now...keep me posted on everything!!! i will miss you!!!
okay...gotta go get some sleep, i actually have to wake up early tomorrow...
Lindsay
Monday, February 25, 2008
back to work..
guess what? i got the job at the place i wanted to work!!! i'm so excited. and i'm going to try and go back to work this weekend at the pub that i'm on injury leave from at the moment, see if i can handle a shift! i'm so excited!!! i can't believe i haven't worked in almost a month...it doesn't feel that long...so yes, it seems that things are settling into place, to allow me to set other plans into motion...
and that's all i have to say for now...woo hoo!!!!
and that's all i have to say for now...woo hoo!!!!
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